“We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Topic Sentences”

I keep thinking back to a conversation I had with the rep from Softchalk. She, of course, was trying to sell me on her product, yet another content system. When I mentioned that I taught writing, she immediately launched into examples of content on Softchalk for writing instruction.  

“Suppose you wanted to teach ‘topic sentences.’” She went on about a module that taught topic sentences, defining topic sentences and giving examples. 

I wanted to reply, “Suppose I don’t want to tech topic sentences?” but I try to limit that sarcastic streak with strangers. I simply told her I didn’t teach topic sentences. Her blank look was sufficient to tell me I’d gone too far even without being sarcastic. 

“There’s nothing wrong with topic sentences,” I hastily added. “The problem is that they don’t solve the problem. Teaching topic sentences is simply a band aid that covers up the real problem, that the writer doesn’t know what he or she wants to say yet, and so what they write down comes out garbled or unorganized. A topic sentence will disguise those problems for the reader. Unfortunately it will also disguise those problems for the writer. Then, naively assuming that because the paragraph has a topic sentence it is now well-written, he or she can go on rather than really wrestling with the ideas on the page.”

The blank look got blanker and I realized I had lost her. But, I was on a roll--not with my sermonette on topic sentences. I’d already lost the congregation on that one. But, I was starting to understand my own dissatisfaction with the “content” provided by most of the exhibits in that room. The problem wasn’t that this was beginner stuff, things that students should have learned in high school. The problem was that much of it gave the illusion of learning while simultaneously detouring the learner away from more advanced work--at least when it came to writing. The content provided was still based on an information model common to lecture and test curriculums. (Here is the information you need. Now let me test to see if you remembered it for the 60 minute testing period.) 

In the case of topic sentences, they distract the writer, who no longer need wrestle with the ideas on the page until they come closer to what he or she wants them to, what we usually call “revision.” Case in point: Though I have reported essentially what I said to the Softchalk vender I was much less articulate then than I have been on the page. As I wrote this, I wrote what I intended to say, and even then I rewrote (embellished if you wish) as I wrote. When I finish this draft I’ll go back and revise once more. If I’m still not satisfied, I'll file this away and play with it again later. But I won’t even check to see if I’ve got any topic sentences.