Stumbling my way to Gamification

I realized the other day that something I’ve been doing in my writing classes for a while has gaming elements. I have used this little book by Stanley Fish (see link below) as the starting point for a series of exercises that have elements of gaming, a challenge that requires creativity, incremental rewards, and a feeling of accomplishment, even of being intelligent, at the end.

Here's the link to Fish's book on Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/How-Write-Sentence-Read-One/dp/006184053X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1425404457&sr=8-1&keywords=how+to+read+a+sentence

 Exercises to accompany How to Write a Sentence, by Stanley Fish

Introduction

Over the first five weeks of the semester every student should work through the exercises and activities in this unit. These exercises draw on Stanley Fish’s How to Write a Sentence and How to Read One. New York: Harper, 2011. ISBN 978-0-06-184054-8. If you have not purchased this book, you should do so immediately. You will not be able to complete these exercises successfully without the text. It is available at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com, or the university bookstore.

Learning Objectives

After reading the ten chapters of Stanley Fish’s book and successfully completing all exercises, students will be able to

·         Understand the contextual and formal properties of sentences

·         Understand why grammar has little do to with writing good sentences

·         Read and understand complex texts at the sentence level

·         Write complex sentences that are clear to readers who do not know the principles in Fish’s text

Chapter One “Why Sentences?”

1.A In this chapter
Fish answers the question posed in the chapter title. He gives several examples of sentences he has admired, including one written by John Updike to describe a home run by Ted Williams: “It was in the books while it was still in the sky.”

Fish analyses the sentence, and gives us several of his own, then encourages the reader to give it a try.

Review Fish’s instructions (10) and write your own. Keep in mind that your sentence should have two clauses, but that each clause should take place at a different time yet be connected semantically as though they take place simultaneously.

Evaluation criteria:

·         Does your sentence have two clauses with different “temporal states”?

·         Does the “hinge” word connect those two states, either making them synchronous or changing the temporal sequence?

·         Does the sentence make sense and is it grammatically correct?

·         Do you use a different “hinge” word from the ones Fish uses? (This isn’t a necessary requirement to complete this stage, but does give you bragging rights.)

Chapter Two: “Why you Won’t Find the Answer in Strunk and White.”

Remember the sentence in the pre reading diagnostic? I haven’t forgotten about it entirely. It comes back in this chapter, aptly illustrating why Strunk and White, who concentrated on grammatical inconsistencies, can’t teach you to write well. If you chose the wrong verb, don’t despair. The ability to label the various parts of a sentence, as Fish will illustrate in this chapter is less important to knowing how those words relate to each other.   

2.A In order to demonstrate that a sentence is a “logical organization” of words, Fish picks five items from around his room at random, adds a modal auxiliary, and makes several sentences out of those words. For this exercise, take the following list, choose a modal auxiliary, and turn them into a sentence. Keep in mind that you’ll have to use additional words to write a logical sentence. But, it’s not as hard as it looks.  

Item List: table, refrigerator, glass, floor, clock

Modal auxiliary list: would, should, could, must, may, might, shall, can, will

Evaluation Criteria:

·         Did you use all the words?

·         Does your sentence make sense?

·         Is your sentence grammatically and syntactically correct?

2.B Download three sentences, one from Fish’s book, one from a book you are reading for another class, and one from something you are writing or have written for another class. Analyze the “doer, doing, done” (23) in each sentence by changing the font of the “doer” to CAPITAL LETTERS, the font of the “doing” to bold, and underlining the “done.”

2.C Write your own three word “doer, doing done.” Now, “pump up” this three word sentence to fifteen words, give or take, then thirty words, and finally ninety words. Post each version of the sentence, 3, 15, 30, and 90 words. 

2.D As Fish tells us, here comes the “hard part.” Explain how each addition relates to the words that were there previously. You don’t have to use technical terms. Your task is to explain the relationships, not label the parts of the sentence.

Chapter Three: “It’s Not the Thought that Counts.”

3.A Fish gives us an example written by Noam Chompsky of a “verb unit that is grammatical but semantically nonsensical.” In other words, grammatically it is correct. But it doesn’t mean anything. Here is Chompsky’s example: “colorless green ideas sleep furiously” (26). This phrase reads like some sort of stream-of-consciousness poetry, doesn’t it? We feel like it should mean something because it flows grammatically, which is what grammar does; it helps the reader follow the flow of your ideas, even in cases like this where there isn’t a coherent idea.

Let me throw a simpler example at you: “Glass hears facile wood.” My model for this sentence is that well-known line from the movie, The Sixth Sense, “I see dead people.” The line from the movie makes sense, whereas my version does not—even though it is grammatically correct. Notice, for instance, that each phrase has the same syntactical structure: noun—verb—adjective—noun. This is such a common structure that we want to make sense of it, even though we know we can’t.(A note: notice that Chompsky’s example is a verb phrase, whereas my example is a sentence. That distinction will be important when you start your assignment.

Here’s one more example: “Scales don’t have no life.” Does this one ring a little untrue to you? Perhaps that’s because my model is grammatically incorrect, if intentionally so: Mick Jagger singing “I can’t get no satisfaction.” For some reason it sounds better coming from Mick, doesn’t it?  

So, you’ve had a complex example, Chompsky’s, and two simpler examples, mine. Now it’s your turn.

Your task is to write a five word verb phrase that is grammatically correct, but nonsensical.

Evaluation Criteria:

·         Have you written a verb phrase? (IE. It has a doer, doing, done.)

·         Is your verb phrase grammatically correct?

·         Is your verb phrase nonsensical? (I’ll send it back if I understand it.)

3.B In Chapter 3, “It’s not the Thought that Counts,” Fish writes, “Here’s another exercise” (27), and introduces us to Lewis Carroll’s “Jabberwocky.” 

Yes, as you might expect, I am going to ask you to do exactly what he suggests, rewrite the nonsense stanzas of “Jabberwocky” so that they make sense.  

Below are the seven stanzas of “Jabberwocky.” Rewrite any two stanzas (NOT stanzas one and seven, since they are identical) to complete this assignment. For extra credit, rewrite the whole thing.

Assessment criteria:

• Have all the nonsense words been replaced with real words?
• Does the rewrite still make semantic sense? In other words, have any grammar errors crept in during the rewrite.
• Does the content of the rewrite make sense? Watch for content nonsense such as “the fish swam in the sky.” The words may be real words, but the sentence doesn’t make sense.
• Do not change the non-nonsense words (IE. real words such as “and then”) or the order or punctuation.
• If someone rewrites the whole thing, cut them some slack. There may be more errors just because it’s three times as long.

JABBERWOCKY

Lewis Carroll

(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
  The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
  The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
  Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
  And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
  The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
  And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
  The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
  He went galumphing back.

"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
  He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
  And the mome raths outgrabe.

3.C In Chapter Three of How to Write a Sentence, Fish claims that “It’s not the thought that counts,” a claim he backs off of later. What he’s getting at is that the thought, or meaning, or the content, is so intimately connected to sentence, the language, the writing, that separating them is like separating conjoined twins. It does damage to one or the other or both.

He gives several examples of how simply beginning a sentence a certain way actually controls the content. Here are a few examples:

“Had I been there”

“I reject the idea”

“Had I”

“Even though”

“Were I to”

“Not withstanding that”

“Depending on whether”

“In the event that”

These are some of the phrases in Fish’s list, though the possibilities are almost endless. One reason these opening phrases are so important is that as readers are constantly predicting what will come next based on what they’ve read so far. They do this subconsciously. You do it every time you read, though you’ve probably never noticed yourself doing it—unless the writer violated your expectations. If a writer violates your expectations clumsily, you might get irritated.

However, writers sometimes do this on purpose. In mysteries, the writer is constantly trying to fool you, to make you think someone other than the real criminal “did it.” Mystery novelists even have a name for this technique. It’s called a “red herring.” The next time you watch a detective show on TV, you might notice that the first suspect in the investigation is always a red herring.

Notice the word at the beginning of the previous paragraph, “however.” That word, like all the examples Fish gives, sends a clue to the reader. In the case of “however,” the signal is pretty straightforward. The writer is sending the message that “In the following sentence I’m going to contradict or mention an exception to what I’ve just told you.”

Now, it’s time for you to practice. One of the phrases Fish writes about is “At this point you probably object that.” Your task: find a point or argument you make in your revision paper, that you have made in a sentence or two, then write “At this point you probably object . . .” and write out an objection to the point you’ve just made. Think carefully about what objections a reasonable reader might come up with. Don’t write something silly or outrageous, or worst of all, stupid. At this point you don’t have to come up with a response to the objection.

As always, don’t forget to rate at least three classmate’s postings.

Criteria for Assessment:

·         Is the original point clearly stated?

·         Is the objection clearly stated?

·         Is the objection “probable”? In other words, is it a reasonable objection?

·         Does the passage as a whole satisfy your expectations as a reader?

5.A In Chapter Five, “The Subordinating Style,” Fish introduces us to the two types of complex sentences, the sentence that uses subordinating clauses and the sentence that uses additive clauses.

(And yes, if you’re paying attention, you’ll notice that there are no exercises listed for Chapter Four. I would not, however, simply skip that chapter. It contains information that will make the exercises in the next couple of chapters much easier.)

Review

Subordinating style:  one independent clause (a clause that makes up a complete sentence by itself) is modified by one or more dependent clauses (a clause that cannot stand on its own as a sentence).

EXAMPLE FROM THE OPENING SENTENCE OF THE CHAPTER: “Although there are any number (an infinite number) of things you might want to do, effects you might want to achieve, two are general enough to serve as a basic classification and as a port of entry into the wonderful world of sentences.”

Let’s break this sentence down into its separate clauses:

“Although there are any number of things you might want to do,

effects you might want to achieve,  

two are general enough to serve as a basic classification

 and as a port of entry into the wonderful world of sentences.”

Now let’s look at how they’re put together:

“Although there are any number of things you might want to do,” (dependent clause)

This clause isn’t a complete sentence because of the word “Although.” Remember the exercise in Chapter Three about reader expectations? The word “although” sets up an expectation for the reader that there are going to be two clauses in the following sentence. The first part will be an exception to the second part; which is precisely what Fish does with this sentence. Take out “although,” and this clause could stand alone: “There are any number of things you might want to do”

effects you might want to achieve, (dependent clause)

This clause adds a new layer of meaning to the first by giving you two alternatives to the “number.” Notice that if we added “There are any number” to this clause, it could function as an independent clause: “There are any number of effects that you might want to achieve.” And, in fact, this is one way to subordinate clauses, by combining them so they share the same verb or subject.  

two are general enough to serve as a basic classification (independent clause)

While this clause functions syntactically as a complete sentence, it feels a little vague. That’s because the sentence doesn’t identify what the “two” is. The simple addition of “Two effects are general enough to serve as a basic classification.” Notice that even though this clause is independent, like the dependent clauses, it shares some elements with the other clauses, in this case, the words “thing” and “effect.”

 and as a port of entry into the wonderful world of sentences.” (dependent clause)

Like the first two dependent clauses, this dependent clause adds to or clarifies the idea in the previous clause that these two serve as a basic classification. It shares the subject and verb, with the independent clause, thus: “Two that serve as a port of entry into the wonderful world of sentences.”

There’s an added benefit to understanding subordinate sentences: notice that all but one of these clauses is separated from the others by a comma? Master subordinate clauses and you’ll have a clearer understanding of where commas go and why.

Your Assignment:

Find two or three, or even four, simple sentences (sentences with one clause) in a row in your revision essay. Combine them using subordination. Post the original short sentences and the combined sentence in your submission.

Though I am asking you to combine them for this exercise, you might not necessarily want to combine them in your essay. Most readers prefer a mix of complex and simple sentences. If they get too many simple sentences in a row, they start to find the writing simplistic and the style jarring. If they get too many complex sentences in a row, they start to get confused. Subordinating sentences require concentration.

Assessment Criteria:

·         Did you post your simple sentences?

·         Did you combine your sentences using subordination? IE. You didn’t use addition.

·         Is the new subordinate sentence clear and syntactically correct? In other words, can a reader understand your point?

6.A Many of you may find the additive style easier than the coordinating style. But you should beware. This style can be deceptively simple. As Fish writes, the additive style uses “logical relationship” in a “sequence of words.” Look over the examples he gives you carefully and how these various sentences connect the ideas they add. Keep in mind that Fish says it’s “in fact the more difficult style to master.” Of course, I’m not asking you to master this style, merely write one sentence in it.

Fish does note some ways to add information, giving us examples that use simple punctuation, increasing the imagery of descriptive detail, connecting clauses through repetition of a phrase, using “present participles” or “apposition.” Notice that the sentences in the first paragraph of these instructions all use the coordinating style, whereas the sentence preceding this one uses the additive style. One mark of the additive style is that the first clause, in the case of the first sentence in this paragraph, “Fish does note some ways to add information,” often summarizes or introduces what follows.

Keep in mind that since you are writing one sentence, you will only have one main verb. In the coordinating style more than one verb is also possible, but it’s much more difficult to pull off. Perhaps this is why this style is so difficult to master.

So, your assignment is to construct a sentence using the additive style. There are no length requirements for this exercise. Do remember, however, that just as it takes at least two to make a couple and more than two to make several, the additive style only comes into its own when you have added a noticeable string of clauses. So, keep the “Olympic Diving Model” in mind as you write this sentence. The more clauses you string along, the better your sentence will be at demonstrating the additive style.

A final note: don’t neglect the use of colons, semi-colons, and dashes. They are quite useful punctuation when one is trying to write complex sentences. Oh, and keep in mind that a single dash, as in re-vision, is not punctuation. It’s a form of spelling that allows us to construct compound words. It takes two dashes—like so—for punctuation. In Microsoft Word, if you put two dashes between two words the program will convert those two dashes to a single, long dash.

Criteria for Assessment:

·         Did you write one sentence?

·         Is the style recognizably additive?

·         How many clauses have you added? (Note: the more clauses you’ve added the more the opportunity for an error to creep in. However, the “Olympic Diving Model” will mitigate that possibility.)

7.A Usually we think of satire as a rhetorical device, as in Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” or most episodes of the Daily Show and Cobert Report. Fish encourages us to look at satire at the sentence level to, as he says, “return to content.”

He says that the “form Swift deploys is quite simple. Put together two mildly affirmed assertions, the second of which reacts to the first in a way that is absurdly inadequate.”

 

Look at the examples he gives to see what he means and write a satirical sentence.  A couple of observations from me, and an example. First, notice that the example Fish gives from Swift (95) as well as the examples he writes (96) involve actions—something happens that on the surface appears mundane. That action is followed by an observation that is connected to the action by a phrase that itself suggests that the observation may be difficult to believe.

My example: I finished a whole cup of Starbucks coffee trying to come up with a clever example, and you’d think all that caffeine would have spurred me on to come up with a better sentence than this one.

Like Fish, I find my example rather lame. I suspect his assessment is correct. Even though my example fulfills the requirements to write a satirical sentence, there’s nothing at stake in my example. It’s lame because it’s trivial. Now that’s a lesson for writers to remember. Want to write good prose? Go for the significant over the trivial.

Criteria for Assessment:

·        

       Did you write two clauses?

·         Does the second clause “react” to the first, causing it to be “inadequate” or ironic?

I don’t expect your submission to be any less trivial than mine. Attaining significant satire in one sentence is a real challenge. However, extra credit for anyone who does rise above the trivial.

8.A In Chapter Eight Fish writes about first sentences, emphasizing how important it is for first sentences to pull the reader into the work. He writes about the “angle of lean,” that is, that the way first sentences pull the reader into the work is to lean, or hint, or point toward something that follows. We might almost say that first sentences create a little mystery. Of course, all first sentences don’t have an angle of lean. One of the most famous sentences in literature, “Call me Ishmael,” doesn’t have an angle of lean. (Or, could it simply be very subtle. Why does he want us to call him Ishmael? Is that his name? Is he hiding something?)

So, here is your task for this exercise, rewrite the first sentence of your revision paper for this class so that it has an angle of lean. Some of you may find that instead of rewriting it, you will have to write an entirely new sentence.

This exercise is challenging in a way that a multiple choice test or even an essay exam isn’t. This exercise isn’t about clearly defined information that you either know or don’t know. Nor is it about skills that can be clearly taught, that you either can or cannot perform. This exercise is about creativity. And, I freely admit, there’s a bit of luck with creativity. So, spend some time working, and perhaps reworking, that open sentence, then pat it on the head and turn it in. I’ll be as generous as I can be when assessing it.

A final note: this exercise is designed to get you to think about how readers come to your writing, what they think when they start reading, how the react, what makes them want to read on. You may come up with a first sentence that perfectly fits your revision essay—or you may not, even though what you come up with for this exercise may meet the criteria of an angle of lean. Consequently, you are not required to use this sentence in your revision assignment. That is entirely up to you.

Turn in:

• Your original first sentence.
• Your new first sentence.

Criteria for assessment:

·         Did you turn in both your original and new first sentence?

·         Does your new first sentence demonstrate that you revised, rewrote, reworked it in order to make it a better first sentence?

·         Does your new first sentence have an angle of lean?

9.A Last sentences are challenging in a different way from first sentences.

First, many of us are not used to writing last sentences, or at least we’re not used to spending time and energy on last sentences because we write them at two AM the morning the paper is due. Our brains are mush, we’re exhausted, and all we want to do is get it done. So, we type something out, save our draft and try to get a few hours of sleep before class. We never go back and look at that last page, let alone revise it.

Second, we don’t really understand the purpose of last sentences, or, in fact, conclusions. Throughout our education our teachers have been telling us that the conclusion is where we summarize what we’ve said in our paper.

Let’s pause for a moment and ask ourselves what a summary is for. We might write a summary in order to 

1. Make sure our reader clearly understood a point we were going to argue against.
2. Remind our reader what the main points in a text that was so long that we feared they might have forgotten what we said.
3. Explain to our readers in clear and simple language what we’d written because we thought they were too stupid to understand it otherwise.

Let’s go through those one by one.

1.      You’re not going to argue against your own text, and this is the conclusion anyway, so you’re not going to keep writing.

2.      Do you really plan on writing a 50 page paper for this class? If not, I’ll remember the main points.

3.      Whatever your opinion about your reader’s intelligence might be, do you really want to send this message? Do you want to send it to me? 

As you can tell, there’s no reason on earth to end and essay with a summary as your conclusion. So, what is a conclusion for? The purpose of a conclusion is to tell your reader why this topic is important, to give your readers one “big idea” that will satisfy them and make them feel like reading your essay was worth the effort.  

The challenge of this exercise is encapsulated that big idea in the final sentence.

IMPORTANT NOTE! PAY ATTENTION HERE! In high school you were taught to do this in your thesis statement. But, if you leave your readers with the One Big Idea in the first paragraph, what will motivate them to keep reading? Or, to put it another way, thesis statements don’t have an angle of lean.

Let me leave you with one final analogy. Mickey Spillane, a mystery writer who wrote paperback potboilers once said, “Your first chapter is important because that’s what gets your reader to buy the book. Your last chapter is important because that’s what gets him to buy the next book.”

So, let me paraphrase Spillane: “Your first sentence is important because that’s what sets my mood while I’m reading your essay. Your last sentence is important because that’s what’s on my mind while I’m writing down your grade.”

YOUR TASK: Write or rewrite the last sentence for your essay so it gives your reader the big idea, why this was important enough to you that you wrote a paper about it.

Criteria for assessment:

 ·         Does your sentence make a significant statement?

·         Does your sentence provide a clear ending to your paper?

·         Is your sentence “satisfying”?

 "Something Fishy" by Mark Noe is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.